I love Autumn. There is a crispness in the air that I can never quite describe but it invigorates my soul. It is still pretty damn warm in Colorado, but as the sun sets and that gorgeous moon peaks its majestic head around the clouds, I can feel it. While watching the furry butt of my curious corgi go romping around the yard and the urge for myself to go pee grows strong, I can feel that crispness of Autumn. I am pretty proud of myself for going until September 2nd before I started demanding Pumpkin Spice Everything. I even got a text message from Caribou telling me I could indulge in the pumpkin before anyone else because I got perks (I am a pretty big deal). This morning, though, I looked to my husband and muttered the words every husband wants to hear: “I want to be naughty.” With a raised brow, he looks at me. Before he gets too far into the fantasy (though I am pretty sure he knows me better than I know myself), I whisper (or said really loudly in excitement because who I am kidding) “I want pumpkin iced coffee.”
I made it to September 2nd, folks. I am going to give myself a pat on the back now. And this whole week is my Birthday Week because yunno it should be a week long celebration because I SURVIVED A WHOLE YEAR. It’s been a roller-coaster, man, and as much as I love those adrenaline-inducing rides, I have been feeling anything but rejuvenated. Which is why I am blogging again because I need to find my voice, dammit. I know it is around here somewhere so I am just going to spew word vomit until I find it (you aren’t happy right now that you are reading this are you? That’s fine. You can stop anytime).
So my mind has basically turned into the mush over the past few years. It turned into real mush when I started working a desk job. Do not get me wrong (people who I may work with who stumble upon this and are like AHH!), I love my job. I love my co-workers and I love knowing without me there things can turn into chaos really quickly (and at the same time, I hate it). I get to indirectly help change people’s lives for the better by getting them through the doors and seeing our world of dog training. And trust me, we have made some miracles happen! We are one of the few dog training places that take in really aggressive dogs because normally behind every aggressive dog is a family who really does love the dog but was either misinformed about the dog when they adopted him/her or it is just in the dog’s genetics. And we are always completely honest with people so it makes me feel good to see that…
But on the other hand, desk jobs are so repetitive that my mind just goes on autopilot. I am not even really aware of what is happening and I hate that feeling. I like to be engaged and have my mind going but 90% of the time I am stuck in my closet, away from the world. I am a person who does thrive on building ideas with people. I LOVE BRAINSTORMING. I love knowing anything is a possibility but when you get stuck in a rut, you start just seeing dirt walls and not the world of green, butterflies, and unicorns (oh they are out there).
Also, I am sitting, A LOT. And it is showing, people. My focus on health is so scattered because I am on autopilot and I am sitting for the majority of the day. I am tempted to ask my boss to ditch the chair and get one of those fun bouncy balls you can sit on? Just bounce my way to productiveness. I wonder what he will say. I am sure I can make a good argument for it. Anyway, I miss going on really nice nature walks. One good thing about Maine is that it was pretty easy to get to nature. Here in Colorado, it does take some effort to get to open spaces (at least where I live). So this is kind of where I am at in life. Desk job and the simple pleasures of pumpkin spice. Take joy where you can get it.