I remember at one point in my life being tall-ish. I also remember a lot of my height coming from my legs…
And then I got all this fat build up around my stomach and hips…
I couldn’t see much of my thighs and therefore in my eye, I became short. I know that is crazy. You don’t just instantly shrink down, but when your perceptions change and you can’t see as much of your body, you become short. So somehow, in my mind, I was only 5 feet tall instead of 5’6 tall (not that there is anything wrong with being 5 feet tall!).
Now that I have been losing weight, I have started to see more of my body. I actually have legs now! I can see all of my thighs even when I am sitting down. Also when I am doing crunches and sit ups. Sometimes I feel as if I am getting a whole entire new body instead of just rediscovering how I used to be. I have become so use to being overweight that my whole perception of myself had become askew. Now if only my boobs would shrink so I could see more of my stomach. I feel like most of my upper body is just boobs, and it is quite annoying. I pretty much have a shelf on my chest where I can set things until I need them again.
Ok… Maybe it is not THAT bad, but still really annoying. It also makes doing some exercises kind of uncomfortable… And I am probably now starting to make my readers uncomfortable… Sorry readers! I will stop talking about the uncomfortable size of my chest… right now.
Back to my legs… since I have picked up running, I have definitely noticed that they are getting more shape to them as well. Now it does not seem like my butt and my thighs are just one big thing. Well… it was never quite like that… but it wasn’t quite as awesome as it is now. My thighs actually have shape and my butt is no longer flab. I feel pretty awesome now when I get into my jeans (especially now that I got jeans in the proper size so they don’t look like super baggy punk pants). These legs have become strong because I have pushed them to be. I did not give up. I started small (as in barely making it down a block at a really slow run) and continued to push myself (from half a mile, to three-fourths of a mile, to a mile, etc). And it is paying off! Even as my mind is screaming “AH! NO STOP WITH THIS NONSENSE. Watching TV is a WAY better use of your time,” I kept plowing forward. I kept pushing myself to do just a little bit more…
And now these legs that a few months ago I did not realize how long they truly were… carried me 3.2 miles today! I did it, guys and girls! I ran 3.2 miles. I ran a 5k (and a little more). Me. The girl that hated running. Absolutely despised it. Really couldn’t stand the idea of it. I can go the distance (cue Disney’s Hercules song). So seriously, when you find yourself gasping for air after 10 steps of a jog, remember you can do it! You may not be able to do it RIGHT this moment, but you can build up to it. I know you can!
Now tonight, I am going to make low-fat banana muffins with Carob chips. Has anyone ever had Carob chips before? Kinda like chocolate? So I am going to see how those taste! Also while shopping today, I found these really awesome band-aids!
So of course I HAD to buy them. I haven’t opened them yet to find out what the prize is. I am kind of waiting for when I do need them, it will be a nice surprise as I am gushing blood everywhere and it will make the whole situation better… right? Or I may just open it tonight. I haven’t quite decided yet.
All I know is that I am kind of excited for the next time I cut myself shaving or get attacked by a cat.
Tomorrow is Friday! (See how I changed subjects there so you wouldn’t think I am totally loony?) Hopefully my weight will figure out what it wants to do by tomorrow morning. It has been ALL over the place this week. I am hoping to have it settled before we go on vacation! 6 more days until I am soaking up some California rays and meeting my OTHER soulmate (Yup. I have 2. One is my best friend soulmate and the other is my fiance… or that is what I just want him to believe… ;p)
I will let you know what the number on the scale is tomorrow. Hopefully it will be a good one.