The title applies to not one…
BUT TWO different things. Emotions and my weight.
I started the week out at 222, got down to 221, spiked up to 226 and am now currently at 224. I know the spike was caused by too much salt and carbs (deli meat for lunch in a WHITE flour wrap. Seriously, Restaurant, invest in some wheat wraps please) and then Spaghetti and Meatballs that night. Even though the Spaghetti and Meatballs were low calorie and reduce sodium, it was still enough to put me over.
Also, my emotions have been everywhere. I have gone from super excited, to kinda down, to just wanting to lay flat on the couch and pretend I do not exist. For those of you who are new and don’t know, I am going on vacation in 5 days! 5 days people! I am finally going to be living out a childhood dream and go to Disneyland. I have never been any place Disney before! I am so excited to go and hug all the characters (because you know I will) and I am actually excited to get my picture taken. 44 pounds ago? Not so much. I would be trying to hide behind all the characters and be ashamed of my face. Not so much anymore. I know a lot of people say “Self esteem should come before the weight loss. You should always love yourself,” but that is really hard to do when you do not feel like you have a lot to be proud of. Pretty much anyone can sit on a couch all day and eat Doritos. Not everyone can find the strength to work out almost every day and run 3.2 miles. Now when I look into my face, even though I have a lot more pounds to shed, I can at least be proud of what I see because now I am the girl that was ready to make the change. What do you see when you look in the mirror? Don’t get upset at it… let the mirror just be a little reminder every day that you have the ability to change (whether it be losing weight or being positive. Seriously. Happiness shows on your face! It is almost like make up except your eyes twinkle and that’s really hard to accomplish with cosmetics).
A lot of outside stresses have kept me from being fully excited, though. My mom really frustrates me only because I know she is lonely and I cannot do much to help her at this point. I have gotten her an apartment near me, but she can’t move in until June… and well her phone conversation skills are very lacking… asking “What’s New?” five times right after the other… I run out of things quickly. Especially since she calls twice a day. Once in the morning where I tell her what I plan to do, and then again in the evening where I tell her what I did do. It isn’t her fault… she suffers from Bipolar disorder. Her thoughts are just all over the place and it is really hard for her to focus. So anyway… that just wears me out because I am pretty much the only one in my family that deals with her on a constant basis. Also, it has been cloudy… and that just always makes for a sad time.
NOW MORE EXCITING NEWS!!
I have only been blogging for… 4 weeks now? Maybe 5. Anyway, it hasn’t been too long… but it makes me EXTREMELY giddy when I get featured on someone else’s blog! And not just anyone’s blog…
But a blog with incredibly resources and posts (I have enjoyed all the ones I have read/heard so far!). So a big thank you goes out to Eric @ Healthdemystified! And I highly recommend you go follow him or bookmark his blog or something because he covers lots of interesting topics and he also links to other amazing bloggers (and really you can’t lose).
So thanks again!
Tomorrow, I am going to be getting my first ever manicure/pedicure and also getting my hair cut. It has been awhile since I pampered myself…
And though I normally do not post on the weekends, I most likely will be posting tomorrow to let you all know how it goes!
So thank you everyone for your amazing support to a beginning blogger such as myself! I hope to continue to be awesome! =D