Thank you all so much for the wonderful and overwhelming support I received yesterday. I really appreciated and it was definitely needed. Sometimes I just hit really low points, especially if I have had some really high points right before. I don’t know if it is all chemical… it is kind of weird because nothing really triggers anything. I don’t start thinking anything. I mean I am still thinking about fun things and being motivated… and then a fogginess just kind of takes over my mind? I become really sensitive to feelings, my body and mind feel absolutely drained, and then my body starts thinking of sad things… And I just get bundled up in negative energy. Then, it will clear up and leave me with a bad headache… but I feel normal again. I sound crazy don’t I? But that’s just the way it works. My brain goes through some weird cycles. But they are definitely better now that I have been getting healthier. I am going to be getting therapy starting on Monday. One of my friends who read my blogged post mentioned it would probably be a good idea… I did therapy for a little bit here and there the past 2 years, but I was never fully impressed. It was nice to be able to vent but I never left feeling like I accomplished anything… but I am going to give it another go at a different place and see how it is. There are a lot of things in life that are bigger than just us, and it definitely is not a sign of weakness to reach out.
Unfortunately, in my fog, I did eat a little too much yesterday…but I will definitely be doing better now. I am already feeling much better after writing my blog post and talking things out with my fiance. We ended up buying some flowers to plant around the apartment to honor my dad who loved gardening, and then had Indian food for dinner and went out mini – golfing. It was definitely a nice night out and I appreciated it.
Today I found the motivation to go horseback riding, and my horse did not disappoint! I love it when we have really good rides, especially first thing in the morning because it just sets the mood for the rest of the day. Tonight my mom is coming over for dinner and to do laundry (our apartment has a washer and dryer… hers does not). But tomorrow I get to look forward to go hiking again and that has me super pumped.
Thanks again everyone for your wonderful and kind comments. I will try not to make a habit of it!