Oh scale… Today was not a good day for us. You didn’t mean anything by it, you were just doing your job… but Scale, you really know how to tear my soul apart. Ok, I am being a little melodramatic here, but you definitely know how to knock me down a few pegs. Here I was thinking I was the weight loss queen… Normally losing at least a pound a week… but this morning? You decided to slam on the brakes. I know, I know. You are getting all defensive. Saying it isn’t your fault. You are just doing your job. Yet I would not have minded if you lied to me a little bit, you know? Just a tad. Just this once to make my week start off strong. No? What? You wanted to motivate me instead to do my very best?
Interesting. I guess I forgot to think about that. Well thanks, I guess. But next week, you better be nice!
So this morning the scale stayed the same. I am still at 214 pounds. But to be perfectly honest, I am not 100% sure why. I did a lot of physical work last week and my eating remained relatively healthy. I did have ice cream twice, though. Maybe that’s it? I was hoping all the physical activity would blow those calories out of the water… but oh well. It probably was a combination of things. Stress, some bad food here and there, maybe not even enough calories on some days, too many on others, not enough water… so many possibilities! I am not too upset, though. Staying the same is a lot better than gaining… so I can definitely live with the scale not budging. I am just so excited to get out of the 200’s.
That is going to be one of the happiest moments ever. Knowing I had the strength and courage to make it back into the 100’s. But it is not going to be happening this month, and may not even happen next month… but I am hoping by the end of August to reach that goal.
Also, I am finally figuring out my life… (I think!). A part of me thinks I really needed to go on this journey to figure out who I was meant to become. I was told a lot as a child that I needed to watch what I ate, and I refused to acknowledge what was being said. I could have easily avoided being morbidly obese, but I did not. I needed this journey to know I have the strength to control my own life, and maybe I can use my own personal experience to help others.
I am thinking about going back to college and becoming a dietitian.
This idea makes me feel absolutely giddy. I know it is going to be a lot of hard work and the classes are going to be challenging since I am not entirely a great science thinker… but I want to do it.
The first time I went college, I really did not want to be there. I had no idea what I was doing and the entire schooling process was lost on me.
I personally believe you should go on to further education when you actually know what you want to do. Otherwise, spend your time working and taking in life… and see where life takes you… or else you go into debt without much to show for it. This time I am going to do it right. I won’t be able to start until next year. I may try to go for the Spring semester if I can… but I am really excited. I can help make a difference in other people’s lives. I can also make a difference in my own life by getting an extensive background and knowledge on the subject.
So that is my current dream. My plan.
And I am really excited about it!