A lot of people believe that outside sources make a person happy. I believe that outside sources only reflect the emotions of a person. If you are depressed, you may notice that you do not have a lot of friends around, you don’t notice the sun peaking out from behind the clouds, you lose important things, you claim you have bad luck… You also say all these things add to your unhappiness. This is why you are unhappy. I do not have a doubt in my mind that the things going around you make it really hard to see that things can just change if you change yourself first. I am sure you will look at me like I am an absolute crazy person for saying your life will probably be 100% better if you work on bettering yourself and growing in positive ways. This means being more charitable, if your friends are not making opportunities to hang out why not approach them, instead of complaining about work, put that energy into completing your tasks quickly and taking pride in what you do accomplish. The truth is if you are unhappy, it won’t matter where you live, what you do, who you hang out with. You will be unhappy. You can have temporary moments of happiness even in those dark times, but there will always be that sort of emptiness until you actually left happiness through.
One of the biggest reasons (I think) people are afraid to be happy. They think it is selfish. I have no idea why this is an idea for people, but it is one I definitely recognized because that’s how I used to think. “I shouldn’t be happy if other people are not happy.” “Everyone will hate me if I am happy!” Which is all complete crazy talk. Crazy talk I tell you! Happiness is just as contagious as negativity. If you can fight off the urge to complain and instead add compliments, you may find the topic switches to something more positive or the conversation just ends. It is really hard to keep fighting with negative comments when you retort with happy ones!
You can also switch up your emotions with how you act. If you are feeling depressed and lay on the couch all day, you will most likely stay depressed. If you switch it up and go for a walk, call up a friend, do things you know have made you happy in the past, then you will most likely end the day on a happy note. A lot of people don’t make that effort because they are just so bogged down by their emotions that they believe they cannot make the change. But you can! I seriously used to be the worse person ever when it came to letting my emotions rule everything I did. I didn’t do anything because I was too depressed. Weird thing is, my depression was not getting any better by just lounging on the couch all day and chowing down on Chinese food. I had to make my own changes and the results are amazing. Actually making myself be active and get out and do things has changed my life. I rarely have depressed episodes and when I do, I jump back pretty quickly because I know what I need is to get active and not be mopey.
I know this also goes with weight loss. A lot of people say they will not be happy until they reach their goal weight. Unfortunately, they never reach their goal weight because they get depressed during the process. They hate themselves for not being good enough, for not working hard enough, for not eating or doing the right things. And it is a darn shame that they missed out on the opportunity to mentally grow as they lost weight. It is a long process and best of all, you can be happy throughout the journey! You are going to have draw backs – of course! And you are going to have days where you really wish you hadn’t had that extra drink or five… but it happens. Life continues and you just keep going. Don’t ruin happy moments beating yourself up for it.
I think another thing that scares people about happiness is the fact that you are the only one responsible for how you feel. A lot of people rely on things around them and like to blame everything else except themselves for not being happy. You are the only one in control of your happiness. Not your lover, not your parents, not your friends, not the scale. Only you. You have the choice to look yourself in the mirror and be like “I deserve to be happy.”
You will find once you open yourself to happiness and start saying yes to opportunities (even if you think you don’t want to because you are feeling down), a lot more doors will open up and you will truly feel blessed.