Friendly Pressure and… It’s My Birthday!

23 Comments

First things first, it’s my birthday which means I am a very important person today… so I can do what I want. Which means I probably won’t be really catching up on your blogs until Monday. Sorry but I am busy! I got stuff to do. Got to plan for my party and eat Sushi tonight. It’s a busy life being the birthday girl! Also, I apologize for missing out on a post yesterday. I was just feeling out of sorts and totally unmotivated to do anything. I think it was because I started exercising again but didn’t really make up for it in my food? So I was just running short on energy. Also, I have been drinking a lot of coffee lately (since Pumpkin Coffee is now back!) and it makes me all jittery and crazy. Ooops. To make me feel better, we did go out shopping so I could get my “villain costume” which turned out to be a very sexy dress and some awesome Halloween make up. I can’t wait to show you guys the pictures!

But I did want to write a post about Friendly Pressure. You know when you tell your friends you are trying to lose weight, but find yourself still ordering dessert and binging with them?

Or they criticize the things you do?

It sucks. The things is there are so many reasons why your friends respond this way. One of them is being they don’t want you to change because by you changing, they also have to change how they interact with you. Lazy, right? Kind of, but mostly it is human nature. If your friends are ones that offer to go out for drinks a lot or go out for dinner, that is just how they know to interact and spend time with you. That’s just the setting they have grown comfortable with (and trust me, I am sure you are comfortable with it too… that is why is it SO hard to change). When you take that environment away, a lot changes. The conversation changes. The atmosphere changes. It’s just a lot of changes. So are here some ideas to help make the transition a little easier…

1. You can’t always go out with your friends, especially if you have reached your calories for the day. If you know you are going to be tempted to eat and it is not just for the company, just tell your friends you aren’t feeling up to it and stay home. It will hurt to see your friends hang out with out you, but this is for your own good!

2. Offer to host at your place and make a 3 course healthy meal! This includes an appetizer, a dinner, and a dessert! Don’t even tell them that it is healthy stuff until the very end. Then just them know this is what you are trying to do with your life and that you can eat actual food and not just carrot sticks!

3. If the above idea turns out to be a success, it can become a more frequent thing and maybe you can also get your friends to participate and make their own healthy meals!

I have been super blessed with amazing supportive friends who have been very understanding with me getting healthy and in shape. Once they started seeing the results, they really started cheering me on. Though sometimes… they do try to convince me that I can get off my alcohol detox just for the day, or I can have dessert after dinner even if I didn’t work out at all that day… and sometimes, I do give in. Sometimes it is just because they feel bad drinking in front of me, but I have gotten a lot better at not feeling bad about that. The pound loss on the scale is a lot more exciting than alcohol can be for me! Or they really want dessert and they don’t want to eat alone… but it is very rare for that to happen. Like I said, super supportive friends… but I have done all of the above before! And it works. I have turned down going out on the town when I know I am feeling weak and craving lots of fried food because I know I would regret it the next morning. If you are going to live your life constantly in regret about making bad choices, don’t make those choices. If you aren’t going to regret it, then have a night out every once and awhile.

Also, if your friends are being condescending jerks because they think they know everything there is to know about diets, promptly slap them across the face. Just kidding!

Not really.

Maybe a little bit. But anyway, it is your body. You are in control. If you are doing this correctly, you do not have to cut out everything tasty in your life. You just have to watch how often you do consume those high calorie foods. You do not have to eat a salad for every single meal. Remember this is all for you. Thank them nicely for them being concern about you, but tell them that you know what works best for you. Unless it isn’t working and you are gaining weight.

Then you might want to listen to them a little bit and stop being so stuck up. Harsh, I know. But it is true. This is a journey that is a lot easier to handle if you aren’t doing it all by yourself. It is good to have that support.

If you have friends that really don’t give a crap about your health, ditch them. These are the same friends that wouldn’t understand why you stopped doing drugs and drinking lots of alcohol. And you actually can’t think of a reason why you are really friends with them…

Seriously, if people are bringing you super down and making you hate yourself, these aren’t people you want to be part of your new life. Losing weight is pretty much like starting over.

You get confidence.

You can buy a new wardrobe.

And you feel awesome more often than not.

This journey is for you and you alone. It’s better if you have people cheering on the side line, but you don’t need their approval. They don’t control your life. You do.

Don’t be afraid to open up to the people around you. Be honest and heart-felt. Tell them how it is going to be. They can’t argue you with your feelings because that is just how you feel. Tell them that you would like them to be more supportive of your decisions and unless you ask for their advice, tell them you don’t need it all the time.Β  Let them know when you are feeling weak and need to be forcefully removed from a bakery radiance. True friends will learn to understand.

And you will feel so much better knowing they do.

 

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23 thoughts on “Friendly Pressure and… It’s My Birthday!

  1. I vote for not even telling them that it was healthy – just letting them enjoy the meal and how they feel afterwards. πŸ™‚

  2. First off HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Secondly I find the same thing applies to ‘Family Pressure’ because I know when I am dieting my parents/family often say ‘it won’t if you just have one slice’ or ‘take the day off and enjoy this or that fatty thing’…super frustrating!
    Have a great weekend and enjoy the Sushi..I am envious!

    • Thank you!!

      And yeah, that’s just how it works… it’s mostly a lack of understanding. They are thinking they are showing they care about you no matter what size/shape you are… so it is best just to let them know exactly what the deal is!

      • I agree people mean well but sometimes they attempt I think subconsciously to derail your progress! Being straight forward and saying ‘no not now’ are the best ways to stick with it!

  3. Happy birthday Cassy! I hope you have a fabulous villain party. πŸ˜€

    I love the whole friend thing you talked about here. I don’t feel a lot of pressure from friends so much. My sister is a self-recognized food/alcohol pusher but we’ve worked it out together and she’s been very supportive. Everyone else is so supportive that they still try to accommodate my preferences even though I’m on maintenance. lol Works for me because maintenance is so much like weight loss.

    • Thanks!

      And it’s awesome you were able to talk things out with your sister! That’s definitely one of my points. You really have to talk things out with people if they are making you feel uncomfortable for changing your life style. Once they understand, it really makes a huge difference!

  4. Happy Birthday Cassy!! πŸ˜€ I hope you got everything you wanted!! πŸ˜€

    Funny you should post about going out and friendly pressure… I went to Outback tonight… had a beer… *sigh* Shouldn’t have done that… and there’s *nothiing* on their menu that’s healthy that I feel like eating LOL

    …so I ended up over my limit… but it’s only once every couple of weeks… right… I know, I know… I’m just gonna shut up now LOL

    • Thanks! And I did! Being surrounded by awesome people!

      And ooops. It happens! You got to figure out why you eat it though. Why didn’t you feel like being healthy? Huh? huh?! haha

  5. Happy Birthday! People don’t seem to understand how hard you work when you are trying to lose weight and when I was struggling with it I went through all the exact same things with ‘friends’ and family. In time they’ll learn – they just take a little training.

    • Thank you! And it is tough… but it is just perception! It definitely helps to make things easier and introduce them to your world without them realizing they are even being introduced to it. lol

  6. Happy Birthday!

    This post was great. I have had a lot of friends who accuse me of having an eating disorder, even though I eat very healthily. I think a lot of it just stems from jealousy and insecurity; that by getting healthy, we are now judging them for not following suit. Just have to rise above!

    • Thank you!

      And yeah, some people just don’t have a very good grasp on nutrition, and they think if you eat a lot of veggies and what not, that you obviously can’t get your calories. People’s perceptions are really askew which is a complete shame, and proper nutrition is just no longer taught in homes. :/ So unless people actively seek out information about being healthy and losing weight, it’s really hard to grasp it.

  7. First of all: HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL!!!!! I wanna see pictures of your celebration!! πŸ˜€
    Yayy! the post finally came! Thanks a lot for this, it is really helpful information and advice. I love how strong you are, that is something I must train myself to be: tough and strong, without expecting other people’s approval or anything. Once again, thanks a million, Cass, you are changing lives.

    • Thanks! And yes, you will definitely be seeing some pictures!

      And yup! Not the best post ever. Still feel a little unclear, but oh well. Close enough. lol And I am definitely not strong all the time… I felt pretty crappy this weekend, drinking way too much, and then being super crabby the next day! You’re gonna be weak sometimes!

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