On this day, I lost my hero. My dad was an incredible guy that instilled a lot good life lessons into my heart. I really wish I could show him how much I have changed in the past year since he has escaped his suffering from brain cancer. Instead of being drowned by grief, I decided to take action. My dad is the reason I have lost over 70 pounds in a year. I have said yes to more opportunities and been less afraid of just being who I am. Life is far too short to limit yourself by your weight and actions. I know right now my dad would be very proud of me. I went through with the surgery and have been keeping my spirits fairly high. I have come to terms with the fact that I am in control of my life and I have the power to do what I want regardless of what people think. That was always one of those conversations we struggled with a lot…I was strongly insecure through middle school/high school/most of college… and he always kept telling me the same exact thing: “Do what your heart says. I know you will do the right thing.” And for the most part, I normally did do the right thing but it was always such a huge moral conflict that would leave me feeling guilty and worried for at least a week. I still sometimes seek outside assurance but I am getting a lot better about it.
Surprisingly, I am not as sad today as I thought I was going to be. My dad was in a lot of pain, and it was really breaking my heart to see him hold on as long as he did. I know he is watching out for me now (which I know some people might seem is a little crazy, but it is just something I believe). It feels nice to know that you have someone special watching out for you. It is the reason I wasn’t quite so freaked out going under the knife in surgery, and also the reason I felt safe while going on a 17 hour road trip. It helps me get through without having a total mental break down.
Today was also the follow up appointment for my surgery, and it was a very good appointment. We took x-rays today, and it is such a huge difference from what it was before! The surgery went perfectly! Everything was aligned as it should be and there is no permanent nerve damage! Boo yah! Awesome news. After the appointment, I made my jaw surgery public… meaning I went to a coffee house and drank out of a syringe which got a lot of odd looks. I say that makes for a pretty awesome day.
Also my husband got us new computers! For gaming! He rocks! So this weekend we are going to have a gaming marathon playing Guild Wars 2! Whoo! I am really starting to make you guys jealous, right? Ooops.
In other news, I need to update my goals and also get back into the routine of taking pictures! So that will be my goal tomorrow morning!