Ode To Sleep…


Oh, my dearest sleep, I’m sorry,

For all the nights I took you for granted,

I never thought in all my years,

You would ever just get up and leave me.

We had such wonderful moments,

of me snoring and drooling,

I could never imagine,

You would get insulted by a new position,

and storm out leaving me wanting.

I had no choice but to sleep on my back!

My jaw would not allow the norm,

and instead of feeling pity,

You got angry and left.

For over a week, I have missed you.

I have prayed to feel the quickness of night speed by in dreams,

but despite my prayers, you did not come,

And I would spend hours, exhausted and bored.

But last night, you finally showed up,

As I could finally roll onto my side,

and you tucked me in, all nice and cozy,

And I did not wake up until the alarm!

So if you couldn’t gather, sleeping has been rough the past week. I was not allowed to sleep on my side which is the only way I know how to sleep, and it was so uncomfortable to sleep on my back. Last night, the swelling was finally down enough to allow me to turn my head at enough of an angle that my jaw was not really pressed against the pillow but my body was tricked into thinking it was in its normal sleeping position…. and wha-la! I slept. It was absolutely glorious.

I am also getting a lot better with my blended meals and had no trouble with the syringes yesterday! I had no idea just how thin the liquid it has to be and it took a lot of experimenting. If it is in anyway kind of pasty, it is not going to work. You may be able to suck it into the syringe, but it will be almost impossible to get into your mouth. There were a few times I almost broke down into tears because I was just so hungry and just could not figure out how I was going to get more substantial stuff food into my belly. Now, I am blending with a lot more confidence! For lunch yesterday, I had coconut chicken curry. Then for dinner had beef stew. And just so youΒ  guys understand where I am coming from, I took a picture of the syringe!

All my food has to fit into that! That syringe is my hero.

Not quite confident to show pictures of my swollen face, but yesterday was the first time I used the syringe out in public. Oh the looks people give you… I wonder what reasons they were coming up in their head for why I was drinking my coffee out of that!

I am starting to make plans which will help speed up time which is good! I need things to concentrate on the short term so I don’t keep thinking about 5 weeks from now when I will have my wires off. I need to remember that I can live my life each day, regardless of the circumstance.


12 thoughts on “Ode To Sleep…

  1. Holy cow I’ve missed a lot of stuff that you’ve been going through! Sorry, I check WordPress from my phone and for some reason I haven’t been seeing your posts until today. Weird! Anyway, it sounds like your surgery was successful and hey, nothing wrong with losing those 10 pounds you gained. How come you are trying not to lose weight while you’re on this liquid diet? Sorry if I sound kind of ignorant… I haven’t been keeping up like I’d like to. Good luck on the sleep front. πŸ™‚

    • haha Yeah September was a super busy month! A lot happened all at once!

      And I don’t want to lose weight while healing because that means my body may not be getting enough nutrition for healing. Also, I don’t want to train my body to rely on a liquid diet to lose weight. It’s going to be really hard to get back onto solids, and until my metabolism starts functioning normally again, I will be gaining weight. :/

    • Definitely. I missed sleep so much but for the first week I couldn’t sleep on my side and I seriously do not know how to sleep any other way. haha

  2. Glad to hear that you are getting some rest! I’ve been reading your posts but just haven’t had a moment to comment and say GET BETTER SOON! Sounds like you are starting to figure things out and making it work, even though it’s not very fun. I’m sure just thinking about the end result helps though!

    • Yeah my husband has been awesome and is pretty much taking care of everything and letting me have these 6 weeks to just relax, recover and do what I want. haha Unfortunately all the things I want to do are the things I can’t… haha

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