I strive for perfection. A little pain stabs at my heart when I get a B instead of an A. When a person would tell me that it was “Good” instead of “Great.” I don’t know why I can’t be happy with just being in a happy medium but it drives me crazy. I want to be awesome… ALL the time, but do you know how exhausting that is? Pretty damn exhausting. And it does not leave me filling fulfilled and happy at all. I just move on to the next thing I need to be perfect at. This feeling also keeps me from trying new things. I am so afraid of being really crappy at something that I just won’t do it. I don’t know why I expect to be able to do something perfectly the first time, but I really lay the pressure on thick and then freeze up and just back up entirely. That is no way to live a life. It is okay to make mistakes, and I need to learn that is acceptable. I mean… I don’t expect perfection from other people, so why should I expect it for myself?
Today, I am taking a rest day even though I wanted Monday to be my rest day. My muscles are still screaming from Tuesday’s Jillian work-out. Despite the aches, I still went to the gym last night and put in a 33 minute work out. My legs were okay while working out but afterwards, they were screaming. Going down the stairs was a very slow process. I then went to yoga to stretch it out and hopefully that would help a little more… and though I got some relief, I still woke up really stiff and achy today. Ugh. Doing Jillian’s work out today is just not in the cards. I would like to be able to go to classes tomorrow. Despite knowing this is what my body needs, I still feel that stab of disappointment. I want to be perfect. I want to do it all right the first time. Ugh. Not a fun feeling, but better to take it easy now than cause an injury and be out of commission for weeks instead of a day. I fully intend on horseback riding and hitting up the gym tomorrow and resuming my Jillian torture on Saturday.
Today is just one day in the large scheme of things. I am still eating healthy (had a delicious Strawberry Greek yogurt with Dark Chocolate Granola for Breakfast). I will just be taking it easy today so I can kick butt the rest of the week. I am not a failure because I am not perfect every day. That is just too much for a person to expect of themselves. It is okay to take a step back.
You are not perfect and neither am I.
And that is okay.