Pumpkin Spice & Desk Jobs: The Story of My Day

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I love Autumn. There is a crispness in the air that I can never quite describe but it invigorates my soul. It is still pretty damn warm in Colorado, but as the sun sets and that gorgeous moon peaks its majestic head around the clouds, I can feel it. While watching the furry butt of my curious corgi go romping around the yard and the urge for myself to go pee grows strong, I can feel that crispness of Autumn. I am pretty proud of myself for going until September 2nd before I started demanding Pumpkin Spice Everything. I even got a text message from Caribou telling me I could indulge in the pumpkin before anyone else because I got perks (I am a pretty big deal). This morning, though, I looked to my husband and muttered the words every husband wants to hear: “I want to be naughty.” With a raised brow, he looks at me. Before he gets too far into the fantasy (though I am pretty sure he knows me better than I know myself), I whisper (or said really loudly in excitement because who I am kidding) “I want pumpkin iced coffee.”

I made it to September 2nd, folks. I am going to give myself a pat on the back now. And this whole week is my Birthday Week because yunno it should be a week long celebration because I SURVIVED A WHOLE YEAR. It’s been a roller-coaster, man, and as much as I love those adrenaline-inducing rides, I have been feeling anything but rejuvenated. Which is why I am blogging again because I need to find my voice, dammit. I know it is around here somewhere so I am just going to spew word vomit until I find it (you aren’t happy right now that you are reading this are you? That’s fine. You can stop anytime).

I am looking at you CRITIC. Right in your eyeballs.

I am looking at you CRITIC. Right in your eyeballs.

So my mind has basically turned into the mush over the past few years. It turned into real mush when I started working a desk job. Do not get me wrong (people who I may work with who stumble upon this and are like AHH!), I love my job. I love my co-workers and I love knowing without me there things can turn into chaos really quickly (and at the same time, I hate it). I get to indirectly help change people’s lives for the better by getting them through the doors and seeing our world of dog training. And trust me, we have made some miracles happen! We are one of the few dog training places that take in really aggressive dogs because normally behind every aggressive dog is a family who really does love the dog but was either misinformed about the dog when they adopted him/her or it is just in the dog’s genetics. And we are always completely honest with people so it makes me feel good to see that…

But on the other hand, desk jobs are so repetitive that my mind just goes on autopilot. I am not even really aware of what is happening and I hate that feeling. I like to be engaged and have my mind going but 90% of the time I am stuck in my closet, away from the world. I am a person who does thrive on building ideas with people. I LOVE BRAINSTORMING. I love knowing anything is a possibility but when you get stuck in a rut, you start just seeing dirt walls and not the world of green, butterflies, and unicorns (oh they are out there).

Thanks, Oprah. A gentle reminder that a house needs to be cleaned so that weird smell can go away. It's somewhere.

Thanks, Oprah. A gentle reminder that a house needs to be cleaned so that weird smell can go away. It’s somewhere.

Also, I am sitting, A LOT. And it is showing, people. My focus on health is so scattered because I am on autopilot and I am sitting for the majority of the day. I am tempted to ask my boss to ditch the chair and get one of those fun bouncy balls you can sit on? Just bounce my way to productiveness. I wonder what he will say. I am sure I can make a good argument for it. Anyway, I miss going on really nice nature walks. One good thing about Maine is that it was pretty easy to get to nature. Here in Colorado, it does take some effort to get to open spaces (at least where I live). So this is kind of where I am at in life. Desk job and the simple pleasures of pumpkin spice. Take joy where you can get it.

Weigh In late but not Forgotten


Hey! I know this is a couple days late but I have been super busy with school projects due before Thanksgiving break, working out and helping my mom buy a new vehicle for the winter! I am so proud of her for listening to me. It was just very time consuming to spend all day at the car dealership on Saturday. I did manage to get my Jillian work out in before leaving though! And that made me feel super accomplished. 

This is going to be a short post for now because I really hate typing on the tablet!  So my weigh in on Friday was another success. I started at 183 at the beginning of the week and made it down to 181 by Friday for another 2 pound loss! Yay! I am on par for where I want to be. I am hoping to be at 180 by Thanksgiving morning. I plan on weighing myself Thursday morning instead of Friday because I know with Thanksgiving the night before my numbers won’t be so pretty the morning after. 

I am really proud of the work I did last week. I went to the gym twice and worked myself pretty hard. I also stuck with my Jillian work out three times and I am already noticing a huge improvement!


This week, despite the holiday, I still plan on hitting the gym three times on Monday, Wednesday and Friday and stick with the 30 day shred on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Definitely on Thursday. I do not know what my game plan for eating on Thanksgiving  is… I know I will not be really drinking if at all. I am going to be making a non-processed version of green bean casserole that will hopefully be yummy and low in sodium and calories! If it is a successful recipe, I will definitely be posting the recipe!


What are your goals for Thanksgiving?

All I See is the Number 185


It has definitely been awhile since I have wandered around these ol’ blogging parts, and it has been missed. So much and yet so little has changed since I sort of just… left. I am in the middle of my second semester of becoming a Nutritionist (and hopefully becoming an RD). I became a fan of football (I know. I never thought I would say that either). And have just been enjoying life. The one thing that has not really changed though is my weight. I have pretty much been at the same number for a whole entire year, and in some ways, that is a good thing. I lost 80 pounds and did not back slide. On the downside, I have not progressed either. I have just been stuck. Unmotivated. And every time I go to swing my legs up to get back on the horse, I end up completely missing and falling back down. I am getting really tired of being stuck in the same rut. I miss how I felt last year. How I felt ready to take on the world, motivated, wanting to go out and do stuff to show off how great I felt on the inside. 

I think one of the reasons I was so successful last year was because I had this wonderful blog to help keep me accountable. I wanted to help inspire people to show them that it can be done. Helping others gives me such a joy and also helps keep me focused and motivated. I am currently on a journey to get a degree where I will be able to do just that, but how will I be motivating if I can’t even keep myself motivated? This has got to change. I know I always pick the worse times to get back on the horse… when I first started losing weight (and changing my life!) was in December of 2011, right before Christmas. The Holidays are the hardest times to start changing a routine because the routine gets changed so much to begin with. There is food around that is never around any other time of the year. The good news, though, is if you can avoid the temptation of the holidays… you can avoid them any time of the year. Not saying you can’t give in to any temptation, but this is a good time as any to teach yourself moderation.

So that is my goal from today to New Years: give into temptation in moderation. No alcohol except for a little on Thanksgiving. Do not feel like all the leftovers need to be devoured. It is okay to throw out some of that pumpkin pie. I do not want to be stuck looking at the number 185 for the rest of my life. I am getting so close to my 100 pound goal. I need to make that goal into a reality. 

ImageThis is my comeback. This is when I make 2014 the year I succeed at my goals and blow them out of the water. Expect to see me around. And while we are at… do you have a comeback story?


Weight Loss is Hard… Don’t Make it Harder


I have to say weight loss has been one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. You have to retrain your mind to think about health and not to give in to every single craving (and trust me that is a challenge in itself) and then you have to add in exercise, planning out meals, avoiding temptations, avoid sitting and watching TV for too long, basically change everything about your life. You can see why people would be attracted to easy lose weight fast schemes. Changing your whole entire life and routine sounds exhausting! Who has time for that? But changing your life is a lot easier in the long run rather than relying on weight loss pills and fad diets.

The first thing you have to remember is you are going to be on this diet for the rest of your life. Sounds horrible, right? Carrot sticks and salads for every single meal of my life? No dessert ever? No fattening burgers?! Come on, people. This is me we are talking about. I love cupcakes and chocolate more than any girl I know. My teeth sometimes ache at just the thought of a meaty burger or steak. Do you really think I am going my whole entire life not having any of those ever? No way. I plan on indulging in all those things occasionally, but I just cannot do it ALL the time. Normally about two times a month I go a little crazy and let myself loose because life is too short to be strict all the time. It is also good for your metabolism do that too because your body starts to adapt to your eating habits, and especially if you have been overweight for awhile, your body will fight you every step of the way to remain that way (thanks hormones for being such a pain in the butt!). So you have to mix it up a little bit, you just cannot do it all the time.

Your life is not over if you cannot have McDonalds or Burger King every day. Trust me, they put stuff in the food that actually makes you crave it. They have to because if you didn’t crave it and realized just how crappy the quality of food is, they wouldn’t be in business. I haven’t had fast food in months, and at first when I drove by, I could feel my mouth water a little..  craving that sugar and salt with every bite. Yet as time passed and I kept reminding myself how bad it was messing with my body, the less I started wanting it.  Now when I drive by fast food places they are just buildings and nothing more.

Since I have started eating better, I have actually really enjoyed what I have eaten because now for the first time I am actually tasting what I am putting in my mouth. Before, the only flavors I can really remember is sweet and salty. That is it… how boring does that sound? Sweet and salty. Now I enjoy the taste of garlic, rosemary, basil, etc… lots of different flavors now!

It gets better once you can retrain your mind. You will actually find yourself craving healthier options because the greasy junk food just will no longer seem that appealing (or it will make you sick! Ugh… I tried having a little bit of my fiance’s meaty calzone… and all the grease and stuff really upset my stomach).

Don’t make weight loss harder than it has to be. A lot of people feel like they have to punish themselves when they don’t follow a diet to an absolute tee. That is why I hate fad diets because you have to be exact ALL the time to see any sort of progress… and who knows how long it would take to see that progress? I like enjoying life and being able to let loose on occasion… yeah if I know I am going to be a little bad that day, I might push myself to do a little bit more of a work out but I don’t plan on beating myself up for a week afterwards. Tonight, I am going to a BBQ and I know there will be a lot of chances to be naughty and eat lots of bad stuff… and I will indulge in a little bit of drinking… but I have planned for it. I ate a protein bar this morning, went horse backing (even though she was naughty which I am sure burned more calories), had a turkey sandwich, and then did some baking (mmm, low fat raspberry cheesecake!).

Enjoy your life. You can’t not wait to reach some magical number before you start cutting loose because it will be a lot harder to adapt. A lot of people end up gaining weight back because they just do not know how to retrain their minds. Relationship with food becomes strained, and it is really sad to see. Don’t be afraid to indulge on occasion. Just don’t indulge with every single meal of every single day.