Can You Wear a Cowgirl Hat to a Taylor Swift concert?

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Please help me settle this debate I have going on with my friend. Can you wear a Cowgirl Hat to a Taylor Swift concert? Because she’s yunno all pop now apparently, but she could still play songs from her country days? Maybe? Or I mean it is like paying tribute to her ol’ country days. Any reason to wear a country girl hat… WHY NOT. But she thinks we will look ridiculous (which I am okay with and may just still wear the hat anyway. I ride horses afterall!)

Also, wha-la! This is post number three of the week ladies and gentleman. GIVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE. I did it. They are random and completely off topic, but that is fine by me. Maybe other people out there would also love to have this Taylor Swift concert question answered. Maybe I am doing the world a favor for all the people who were just too afraid to ask. Honestly there is problem an answer somewhere on the internet but I don’t feel like googling it right now).

So I have been doing pretty good on my other goals. I think. Blogged 3 times and I have been running! I am averaging 6 miles a week but that is something! Progress from the negative miles to the couch I have been doing for a bit. Technically, just getting up off my butt was a huge success. If you have accomplished just the smallest of small goals this weekend, pat yourself on the back. YOU ROCK. Look at you go! Just the slightest change in the right direction, whether that means just eating 3 cookies instead of 5 for dinner for dessert, you are kicking ass.

soulhappiness

I even got out into the world and have been trying to become more social. Tomorrow, the hubs and I are trying out a meditation place. It is an introductory class to help clear the mind and center your emotions. Yes, please! I could use some clarity in the chaos that is the world. I am stumbling right now through some rough patches, but I know there is a smooth road ahead. You do notice my name is Journey to Awesomehood (well not my name, per say, but the blog’s). It was initially just supposed to be a weight loss blog to keep me focused, but this journey has become much more than that. It is now a voyage towards greatness by improving not only my health, body but also my mind. I feel like there is a better version of myself hidden beneath some emotional layers that need sorted out.

Also, you guys may not know this… but one of my life long dream has come TRUE. I got my corgi. I have been wanting one since I was a kid. I absolutely love the breed ever since I saw Cowboy Bebop. I knew one day they would be MINE.  Yes, they. Like all of them. That part of the dream hasn’t come true but I do have ONE. So that is a pretty good start. World, Meet Delphy! Delphy meet World!

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Tune in next week for more goals. More randomness. And more interestingness as I try to break down boundaries and explore my soul (and the world!)

Finding Strength (Like Hercules, Minus the Whole Actual Superhuman Strength)

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This past year has been amazing. Incredible. Really stressful. Exhausting,.. I just lost my train of thought as my husband asked where the English Muffins are. Bread Box! Look in the bread box! Though I guess they really are not a bread. Maybe? Honestly I do not know but they are delicious and my husband makes awesome breakfasts. Not always the most HEALTHY breakfasts, but still phenomenal. I feel like this is just a blog of adjectives and verbs at this point.

Lets start over…I have lost my focus. Not just in the sense of this blog post though it is fitting. In the sense of life. I feel like I have just been bouncing between waves, getting drained, when I could be swimming to my own island paradise. Instead I am just floating aimlessly when seriously the island is RIGHT OVER THERE. I CAN SEE IT. Why don’t I swim? I feel like I get distracted by something shiny like a damn bird. The problem with me is if I don’t have a goal, a focus, I get depressed. I need ANYTHING to help in keeping my attention on the end goal. Whether that be a physical goal, emotional goal, a job goal, I thrive better when I have goals. My weight has been pretty consistent around 202-209 since last year and that really has got to stop. I feel like my life has almost gotten stagnant and I have lost that sense of wonder and adventure that I once had. Bitter and frustrated Cassy is no fun. I feel like my brain is in a foggy zone. So I am reaching out to my blog, to other people that may be suffering, feeling alone and directionless. Maybe we can latch on and swim to the island together! (I’ll share, promise).

moving forward

So I am starting with goals. Starting here with this poor neglected blog (don’t mind the cobwebs). I am going to write 3x a week. Whether people read it or not. Whether I get a standing ovation or just silence (no in between!). I need a place to get my feelings out and reflect.

Have the number on the scale go down. Goal is to get below 200 in 3 weeks.

Run 3x a week. I am doing the couch to 5K in hopes of doing a run by the end of October. Anyone else with me?! I could use a running buddy.

Be more optimistic and adventurous. Try a little harder not to think about all the negatives that can happen but see the positives.

I am ready to go the distance. Just like Hercules.

Though hopefully my monsters are more imaginary than real life.

Freezing My Butt Off!

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I guess if I freeze my butt off, that is less weight I have to worry about right? Ha. If only that were the case! I am feeling pretty proud of myself for going out this morning in the 23 F air outside and going on one of my longest runs that I have done so far. Just shy of over a mile. The run was briefly interrupted by a super cute baby-ish red squirrel that unfortunately probably won’t survive the winter. It was really confused and super friendly. It got to about a foot away from my feet! I totally wish I had my camera/phone on me. Drats. Would have been so easy to snap a picture of the little guy. The only problem is he was already super skinny and had no insulation to warm him up. Maybe he has another squirrely that loves him and will cuddle him through the winter, but he just didn’t seem to be eating, and didn’t like to get on the frozen grass because it was too cold (I am assuming. He was super sensitive to the grass for some reason). My husband went down later to see if he could find the little guy but didn’t have any luck… so I am hoping he is huddled up somewhere.  Anyway after my run, I went to the barn and spent about 2 hours there grooming and playing with my pony. I have been in a funk all morning, and for whatever reason, I really just broke down and cried into her fur. Animals are so therapeutic  and I love the fact that she just lowered her head and stood there calmly while I got all emotional and stupid.

After that, I had lunch with my mom. It was pretty nice and I was fairly well behaved in the eating category. I had a tuna melt and some sweet potato fries, but I didn’t finish all of it, despite the fact I had burned over 400 calories this morning doing all my crazy stuff. For some reason, I just haven’t been very hungry today either. We also picked up a small tree to put in my mom’s apartment to surprise my sister when she gets home from work. Shhhh! I know she will really like it and it really lights up the place. To burn off a little more calories, I played with this cutie:

 

He is absolutely adorable and so smart! He just loves chasing his ball around.

Right now I am trying to find the motivation to organize the office to get ready for the Christmas Tree, but  I much rather snuggle under my electric blanket.

One thing I also need to work on is drinking enough water. For some reason, when it is cold outside, water is the last thing I want to drink. What is something you do to motivate yourself to drink water when you are feeling cold?

 

So Many Changes!

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Sometimes, I don’t realize how much has changed in the past year. I have been constantly on the go since my father passed away last year, and I really have not taken time to sit back and think on everything. For some reason, if I am not accomplishing a lot, I feel like I am all of a sudden a complete failure. Gosh, I am such a drama queen sometimes. Ok, I am not too much of a drama queen because I don’t really like drama so that’s definitely not the right term for it. But, the whole not accomplishing thing is huge because I have accomplished way more in a year that I should be proud of. I am not at my goal yet, but I have done so much to set a foundation for a successful life. I got off my lazy ass and actually did stuff this year and just because I am a little gimpy right now does not undo everything. I am not falling into old habits. I am not the same girl I was last year.

See, last year at this time, I would not feel bad for spending all day on the couch. I mean a little part of me always felt bad about spending all day on the couch watching movies but I just silenced those thoughts with a big container of Chinese take out. Ha, take that bad thoughts. Then I would lie there all day with my big full belly and let my mind become complete mush. I had very little energy to do anything. Even the thought of activity wore me out. All the while, I was watching my dad sink further away from me as he succumbed to brain cancer. Watching someone you love die slowly and painfully (despite the pain medications, it never looked good), is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. All last year, I was a complete ghost to myself. My world was crumbling around me. I was losing one of the most important people in my life, and all I could do was watch. As soon as he passed on, I started running from the pain. I took care of my mom and have been watching out for her since, took care of some of my dad’s things, and I took control of my health. I definitely needed control. I hated how out of control I felt that whole entire year. Not being able to do a single thing to save my dad’s life. The one life I could save, though, was my own.

Two months after my dad’s passing, I changed my diet completely. I bought a scale and started exercising more frequently. In 8 months, I have lost over 60 pounds. I have lost almost 25% of my original body weight. That’s insane! In this year, I have run 4 miles, gone horseback riding more frequently than I have in my entire life, hiked up 3 mountains and gone on 2 really long walks, gone swimming in the ocean, laid out on the beach in a large bathing suit (not extra large!), looked in a dressing room mirror and was not ashamed of what I saw, got married, wore dresses (sometimes just because!), could go on all the amusement park rides and was not held back due to my size, dropped almost 6 pant sizes, and started this awesome blog where I met an amazing community. That’s a lot to do in one year! I also know what I want to be when “I grow up” and have everything in order for me to go back to school for the Spring semester. I have set the foundation for success, and it makes sense for there to be minor hiccups on the journey… but I have to remember the big picture.

I am on an amazing journey right now. I may never make it to some set destination, and I am slowly starting to be fine with that. I need to remember to appreciate all the small steps that lead to the really big steps.

Big thank you to all you wonderful bloggers. Also thank you to Erika @ My Recovery Diary for the beautiful inspirational award and all her sweet words. They brought a tear to my eye, but also helped make me realize just how much I have accomplished. I am not a failure, and I will be back on track very soon.

So this is my lesson to you… shit bad stuff happens, but keep your eye on the beautiful bigger picture. I am sure even the best masterpieces were not perfect the first time. You just never see the rough drafts.

 

Getting Back on Track (Winner Announced!)

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I am so sorry that I did not announce the winners yesterday! Ugh. Yesterday was hard… My fiance had grabbed some of my dad’s old stuff before my mom just abandoned it all, and we just found it again yesterday when looking for some important documents. In the envelope, it had pictures of my dad, his report cards from kindergarten to 8th grade, and some news from the naval academy. I broke down looking through it all. It has only been 8 months since he passed away, and I have pretty much just avoided anything that reminds me of him. Especially pictures. Needless to say, all responsibilities yesterday kind of went out the window. I ended up being really bad and hardly ate anything all day yesterday and then ate WAY too much last night (scale was not happy this morning). It was stupid, but I am feeling a lot more motivated today and I need to hold on to this motivation (at least for the rest of summer!).

Anyway, the winner… Dun Dun Dun…

I told my fiance to pick a number 1-10 without thinking…

And the answer was….9! So that means Jessica Begin wins! Yay!! So Jess, send me an email at daboffrosting@gmail.com with your choice of prize and your address. =D Thanks everyone who entered! I will definitely be doing another giveaway in the near future.

 

My stomach is definitely upset with my eating habits lately. It hurts pretty much after every time I eat. Definitely need to work on that this weekend and all of next week. I am going to go back on a “no processed sugar” detox for a week. No alcohol. No sweets. Just yummy fruits and vegetables and meat. I am also thinking about picking up a blender this weekend and trying some of these green smoothies I have been seeing everywhere! If you have a favorite green smoothie recipe, please share!  I am thinking of starting my mornings with that. I also need to drink more water…

So goals this weekend:

1. Buy a blender tomorrow and pick up some fresh fruit and vegetables up at the Farmer’s Market. Have a Green Smoothie every morning for a week, starting Sunday.

2. Start drinking 60 oz of water. I have been really bad about my water in-take.

3. Run 2 miles today, 4 miles tomorrow, and 1.5 miles on Sunday. Lots of running but I definitely need to get back on track with that. The weather has been questionable the past week, but it is really no excuse.

I really want to get under the 200 mark by the end of July. 18 pounds. I can do this. I know I can.

Just need to focus up.

I will do this.

 

A Day of Yummies and Records

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Today was a beautiful day… well at first, it was a little skeptical whether or not it was going to be a beautiful day or not. It started overcast and rainy, and I was feeling nervous. I really needed to run 5K at least once this week (even though my goal is to do it twice this week but we shall see how that happens). Luckily, the clouds broke enough that the fiance and I decided to risk it. I told him I wanted to go the distance today. In fact, I needed to because I didn’t want to let my blog down! (See, blogging can be such motivation!). So off we took running (even though he is adamant that it is just jogging but even if it is a slow pace, I feel like it is running!).  We decided to do a little bit of a different route so instead of driving to the beginning of the trail through the woods, we just started from our apartment and ran to the trail head and then proceeded from there. Now, I have only gone running once since I have been back and that was just a small 2 mile run… and today? I ran 4 miles. That’s right, folks! 4 miles! I was so excited! I did it without any walking! We did have to stop for a moment and do some quick stretching, but we picked our pace right back up.  So that was more than a 5k so I feel like that is a lot of progress.

Now after a run like that, we were starving. Lately we have been really obsessed with turkey and avocado sandwiches! They are so filling and really easy to put together, though there are lots of yummy layers to it.

Mmmm… Sandwich pocket!

Look at that masterpiece! I know. The top of the pocket ripped! I just try to put so much in there! Ooops. Anyway, all it is is a 100 calorie sandwich pocket, 1 teaspoon of light mayo, 2 teaspoon of fresh avocado, 1 slice of very thin sliced cheese (45 calories), and 1 slice of skinless low sodium turkey breast, and a little bit of salad greens. It comes to be about 280 calories for the sandwich which is not bad at all! I also had some organic yellow corn tortilla chips and mild salsa! So delicious and like I said before, so filling! It just all comes together to make a very happy combination on my tongue!

Then we went on a spontaneous road trip this afternoon. It was so much fun to just enjoy the sunshine and each other’s company. I know that sounds crazy since we work together and spend lots of time together…but when it is just the two of us, going to new places, taking in the scenery… there is just something that feels perfect about it.

After the road trip, we stopped at the grocery store to pick up supplies for dinner tonight and ingredients for goodies this week. Tonight we were trying something different…

Quinoa!

I have never tried it before but kept hearing amazing things about it. It is much more nutritional than rice and have protein! Yummy! So I decided to give it a go in the form of Quinoa “Fried Rice.”

Look at all that color!

This is another recipe that is really easy to make! I got the recipe from SkinnyTaste.com and changed it a little bit. Her recipe called for fish sauce and I just can’t stand the smell of it.

  • 4 cups cooked quinoa
  • 1/2 cup chopped scallions
  • 4 cloves garlic, minced
  • 2 peppers, diced (I used a red and orange pepper! I really like having a lot of color).
  • 1 tomato, diced small
  • 1 tablespoon low sodium soy sauce
  • 1 tsp sesame seed oil
  • 2 tsp vegetable oil
  • spray oil
  • 3 egg whites, scrambled
  • 1 whole egg, scrambled
  • salt

1. Spray a frying pan with oil and cook up the scrambled eggs. Once cooked, set them aside.

2. Add the vegetable oil to the pan and the peppers, garlic, and scallions. Cook for about 5 minutes. Then add the tomatoes and cooked quinoa. Mix it together with the soy sauce and sesame seed oil and let cook for another minute or two. Add the cooked scrambled eggs and more soy sauce for flavor. Sprinkle some salt (and I even added a little more garlic power because I really love garlic).

And wha-la! You have yourself a pretty decent meal! Also only 350 calories. I made it more of a meal by making up some broccoli to go with it as well. It was delicious!

I finished off the evening being a little bad… my upstairs neighbors needed butter for some cookies, and I am an avid baker so I always have butter and as a thanks, brought down 4 hot from the oven chocolate chip and nut cookies. Oh my goodness. The smell alone was amazing and it tasted like eating an ice cream sundae (strange as that sounds).  So I cheated a little but it was so worth it.

Tomorrow night is also going to be a little bit of a cheat night since my friend is having a BBQ! The one thing I have come to realize on this diet is that this is going to be my lifestyle for the rest of my life… so I need to have days where I just have a little fun and let loose. Life is too short to be strict all the time (just most of the time. :p).

So tomorrow’s game plan is horse back riding in the morning, make low calorie red potato salad, low fat raspberry cheesecake, do my work out DVD since I haven’t done it at all this week, eat very lightly and then have a good time! =D

 

I Am Doing It!

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I never liked running. I can do skipping, dancing, walking, swimming, biking, horse back riding… but I never really enjoyed running. Every time I thought about running, I hit this mental block of “it’s too hard,” “I can’t last long so why even bother,” “the couch looks so much more inviting than my shoes…” and “-insert more pathetic whiny excuses here-“. You get the picture. The problem is I let that same mental block cover more than just the running street but most of the exercising streets. “I can’t run… so I probably won’t be very good at hiking.” “I don’t have the endurance so why even bother biking?” I was just giving myself all these excuses and my inner lazy fat kid kept rejoicing as I slurped down milkshakes and chowed down on fried starches. So far I believe my journey has been more of a mental battle than a physical battle. My body was longing for movement way before I started getting healthy. I would just feel absolutely horrible if I spent 98% of my day on the couch. My legs were tingly. I never slept very well. I just had all this energy inside of me that needed to be used. It was my brain that was saying “Oh no, you should just rest. You are so drained and wiped out.” I would instantly agree, grab a cookie and watch whatever was striking my fancy at the time.

I missed being active, though. I wanted to go on all-day hikes in the mountains and take breathless photos. I wanted to spend all day at the lake and not feel absolutely exhausted (not to mention embarrassed in a swimsuit) after only an hour. I dreamed every night of a different life, of looking into the mirror and feeling proud, seeing and feeling muscles caused by active adventures out in the world…I do not know why it took years for me to finally reach this point of realizing I had completely lost the active kid in myself. I have no idea how I let it get so out of control. All I know for sure is that right now I am doing it. I am not dreaming or thinking about it but lying on the couch instead. Now I do not ponder about going outside and doing something active, I just do it. Right now I am pushing through the hardest mental block of all: running. I know once I push the running block down, the others will follow quickly behind it.

And I am doing it! I am running up hills that last year I could barely walk, and my endurance is getting better every day. Today I went 1.5 miles (I know that doesn’t equal out to much, but to me is a huge triumph!). I walked a little bit, but I kept up a pretty good pace the whole entire time. On the last street, I even went into a full out sprint! It felt liberating until I realized I wasn’t really breathing and got lightheaded… but besides that, I felt like I was flying!  I am doing it. When my brain said, I couldn’t… my legs said “Hell yeah!” and when my legs felt weak, my brain finally said “this isn’t so bad,” and I kept going. My goal is to be able to do a 5K and actually jog most of it. I know I have the endurance to jog/walk a 5k now, but I really want to be able to jog the whole thing by the end of May.

I am half way there and it feels AWESOME!

What road blocks do you have up in your head? What excuses do you make not to do something? Make today the day you at least give that road block a nice big push! Because today is the only day you can actually do something. Live in the present and kick some butt! It will feel awesome (at least afterwards). I promise!